Doing it for the right reasons

I have been thinking a lot of the reasons we chose to change. When I first started to lose weight it was for my husband. Not because he asked me to, he would have never done that. He has always loved me regardless of my weight and have seen me at my smallest and at my largest.

But I was so unhappy with what I saw in the mirror, what I saw in our wedding photos and I had enough. I wanted him to be able to introduce me and have people think ‘Wow he has got a hot wife’. It seems so silly to me now but that was the driving force that started me on this long journey. Now when I look back I think the reason I started this way, was because I was too scared to do it for myself. I was so afraid to fail, I didn’t even tell anyone what I was doing, besides my husband. I had never truly tried to lose weight and I was afraid to fail as I had seen people in my life do so many times. How many times have you heard of someone who lost a lot of weight and put it back on? I didn’t want to be that girl.

At some point in my journey I started doing things for me. I started to be proud of the accomplishments I had made and at the weight I had lost. I started to see the journey as more then becoming ‘hot’ and more about making this life the best life I could. I started to gain self esteem I never had. I started to see myself as more then a number on the scale or a jean size. I started seeing all the things I was capable of. I started to do this for all the right reasons. I finally saw that I could do this and not fail. I could do this and learn and trip and get back up and keep going. I could finally define me and my journey.

I think whatever your reasons to make a change in your life, in the end you have to do it for yourself. I think that is one of the only ways that the change will last. You have to start to value yourself and what you think, over what everyone else thinks. You have to start being the person you dreamed you could be because YOU know you can. Not because someone else tells you, you can. It’s a nice push at the beginning but in the end you have to do this for you.

So look in the mirror. Tell yourself something nice. Don’t be so quick to be mean. See the person your husband or best friend or sister or whoever that loves you, sees. Be nice to yourself and you will start to see all those great qualities everyone else in your life sees.