Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Holy good God it can hurt but I’m here to tell you that it really can be a gift. If you let it be. You can choose to dwell on your pain and refuse to move forward or you can take the fresh start as a new beginning and do the best with what you have. You tackle it with an open heart and an open mind and even though it does hurt in the beginning, it will get better. So much better. But in the mean time, you have to find it somewhere in yourself to be brave enough to learn your lessons, accept what happened, deal with the pain in the most constructive what you can and move forward with your new life. You have to love yourself enough and want the best for yourself or you’ll make the same mistakes and find yourself stuck in a really ugly place. I’ve been there, I’ve been in total denial before, I have refused to see what was happening around me, I have been stuck and refused to follow my heart. I knew what I needed to do, I knew what was right, but I didn’t trust myself enough to listen. Being in denial doesn’t stop what’s going to happen. It only leaves you blindsided when it does happen. And angry. And pissed because you should have saw it because you should have listened to yourself and now you are just left in a massive amount of pain, confused, scared and picking up pieces. It’s a real sucky place to be. My best advice before you get to your new beginning is to start being honest with yourself. Take a step back and try to view your situation in the most honest and real light you can. Maybe talk to that friend that is willing to be honest and you just wouldn’t listen before. Listen to that nagging feeling you have and trust yourself to make the right decision for you. Know you are brave and strong and can do whatever life has for you. You can endure so much more than you think you can. For me this message provides hope when you might be in a place that there isn’t much. I hope that you know that you will come out the other side and if you try and look out for yourself, you can actually come out the other side happier than ever before. Starting over sucks and for me it was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to deal with. But I’m proud of the life that I have built since then. I might be a work in progress but I’m so proud of how far I have come. And if any of your find yourself starting over you will be proud when you look back too. It takes time, trust the process and keep getting back up. Life will knock you on your ass a lot but you have to be willing to keep getting back up. Proud and strong and never give up. Anyways, I suppose when I saw this as a pin a few days ago it got me to reflect about the last few years of my life, where I was, where I am now and how my new beginning brought me to where I am which I’m really grateful for. This gift I was given brought me to the best place I could ever have imagined. I love my life and the people in it and feel incredibly blessed to call this my life. Starting over taught me a lot of really valuable lessons that helped me get to the life I have and I’m actually grateful for that time of struggle. It taught me to love myself in a time that I didn’t feel very lovable and to trust myself to do what is best for me. It showed me all the crap I thought was acceptable that really wasn’t and what I refuse to put up with ever again. It taught me the real struggles in life and that things really could be worse. And no matter how ‘worse’ it got that I could handle it. Sometimes by the skin of my teeth and taking it second by second but I could endure whatever was thrown my way. And it made me realize you really can’t sweat the small stuff. As clichéd as that is. It taught me how strong I am and just how much I could handle. It taught me who were my true friends are and how much my family loves and supports me. It taught me to be so appreciative of what I have. I am incredibly happy that I could learn my lessons from my past and I know that allowed me to move on like I did. It allowed me to open my heart to someone more fully and allowed me to love someone so much more than I ever dreamed was possible. So the point of the post? Know that there is hope even when you don’t feel like it. That it gets easier. That this new beginning, however painful, will get better. That if you do the work, process your feelings and sort through the ugliness, that it will pay off. It did for me. I have started over so many times in my life, big and small and each time you have to believe enough in yourself that you know it will get better. Because of the changes you are making your life, your end result will be better than when you started. Besides you love yourself enough to fight for the best life you can have. You are worth that struggle to get to a better place. Embrace the gift. It's totally worth it :) The picture at the start of this post I found on pinterest and this was the link attached...
Thursday, May 16, 2013
How does a month go by so quickly? I mean I can’t believe that it’s been since April 1st that I last posted a blog on here! Well I’m going to make a concerted effort to blog on here at least once a week. That is totally doable. I want to post things like healthy recipes I’ve tried. New jewelry I’ve made (more on that a little later). Exercises I’ve tried that I’m crushing on (like Zumba :)). Other random thoughts about things affecting my life right now and I’m sure much more. Thanks again for coming along on the ride with me. So my newest endeavor is I’m really trying to make a go of my jewelry business ‘Buffy’s Bracelets’. I’ve been making jewelry for it seems like forever but I go in spurts of when I make new things and lately it has been one of those things that has collected dust in the corner of my apartment. And besides doing a couple craft fairs I never really tried to sell my stuff to people other then friends asking what I had and buying stuff from me. I have made jewelry for some of their bridesmaids but other then those few things it was never really a business per say. It all started 6 or 7 years ago. I started by making jewelry when I got married for my bridesmaids. My friend Michelle bought some of us girls these beautiful swarovski crystal birthstone bracelets that a woman was selling at a restaurant and I thought I could totally make these. I have always been the creative type so I thought why not give it a go. And no matter how off and on it’s been, I’ve been making jewelry ever since. While I have been in school it had been pretty sparse just because of time but I would manage to make up some Iowa State bracelets before games to try to sell them tailgating. Ok I would give most of them away but still. I guess it got out the word of mouth that I could make them? Anyways, I had a woman reach out to me that saw a friend’s bracelet and wanted me to make some jewelry for her bridal party! Since graduating from school and feeling kind of lost trying to find a new job that would be more satisfying, I have been trying to focus on doing things that make me happy. One of those things has been making jewelry. There is a farmers market in town and I thought maybe I should try to sell my stuff there. After a month or so going back and forth about it in my mind, I decided to just do it. Since then I have created a facebook page where I post pictures almost daily of whatever I made that I’m wearing that day. I also started an Etsy shop where I have a pair of earrings listed and more to come. So I feel like I’m at least giving this a go. I’m actually trying and not just waiting for things to happen for me. You have to at least get out there and try or else you can’t complain about what might have been. The only way to know is to try. So far it has drummed up some business and I’m hoping it will keep expanding. If anything else at least it’s a way to get my creative juices going and make a little money on the side :) For the last month I have been doing really well with exercising and eating right. I have had a few days (ok, really just meals on those days) where I let go a little but I think that is really helping me to stay on track the rest of the time. I’m down 5 pounds so I’m really happy with that. This past week I have started to notice what is firming up and that feels good. I have been doing cardio at least 3 times a week (either Zumba or running or Tae Bo or some other workout DVD) and then at least 2 days a week I do some sort of strength training (on my own with free weights while I watch TV or a yoga, pilates, or other ST DVD). I try to get in 6 days a week of workouts but sometimes I only do 5 and that’s ok too. I think part of it is I am being more attentive to what I’m stuffing into my mouth, being more strict about it but also cutting myself some slack when I need to. If I eat bad at one meal I don’t say screw the whole day. If I miss one day of workouts because of a legitimate excuse (last minute plans that need done that night NOT just being too lazy to do it) then I just make sure to do it on another day. It’s that whole moderation thing, you know. I have also been trying very hard not to emotionally eat (as I really like to do) and being more conscious of that. That one is the slippery slope and I have to be able to cut myself some slack when it happens but also not go over board or not get back on track. I’m a work in progress, what can I say? So that is where I am right now. Feel free to like my facebook page and keep up with all things pretty there. I will also post some pics here to but you can get your daily dose over there :) Also I have some links on the side of the page for the facebook page, my etsy store and all that good stuff. P.S. Tonight we are grilling out (the cute bf and I) and making burgers. One recipe I threw together is 1lb of ground meat (it's ground turkey 93% tonight) and 1/4 cup of shredded cheese (I just use whatever I have on hand, you can even use a stick of string cheese cut it in 4 and stick inside the burger) and dried onions and spices. The spices I have been using is garlic powder (I use it on most everything), dried basil, chili powder and Cookies seasoning. So yummy :)