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Welcome to my blog!

I am Buffy, I live in Iowa with my kitty cat Meowshine and stay rather busy trying to be healthy, eating right, working out, working my full-time job and running my own custom jewelry business on the side. Thanks for coming along for the ride :)



Wednesday, November 23, 2011

What do you want from me?

It’s kind of a funny question, what are you looking for in another person? Now that I’m actively trying to date it is something I have thought a lot about. I try to stay positive and look for the qualities I want verses the ones I don’t want. But it is so much easier for me to come up with things I don’t want from the lessons I learned when I was married. Things I know that are important and things I’m just not willing to settle for. It’s an interesting position to be in really. The last time I dated was in high school, and you seemed to stumble upon your next person, there wasn’t much thought behind it. Now that I have lived a little and have seen so much more, I can make a knowledgeable decision in the guy I choose to spend my time with. Instead of stumbling into love, I can have more of an active part in this whole process and pick a better person to give my love to.

So what do I want?

Some sweet, caring, adorable guy to spend some of my awesome life with. A guy that is genuinely interested in spending time with me because I’m fun and funny and interesting to talk to. A guy that has some of the same interests as me and makes me laugh. A guy that I can share things with and will show me new and interesting things that he likes to do. Someone who has his own life that I’m just adding to. Someone who is honest and faithful and treats me like I matter. I want to find that guy that somehow we were made for each other because we compliment each other so well. Doesn’t seem to me that I’m asking for something impossible.
And in the end it boils down to…all I want is someone who is nothing like the ex.

But how to do you say all that without bringing up the a-hole and pretending like all your baggage is gone. How do you say that and still sound like an emotionally healthy person who wants someone as emotionally healthy as you are? I’m not interested in showing someone else that there are good people left in the world. I’m not interested in fixing what someone else broke or making up for something the person before me did. I’m not going to be the girl that can make it all better. I cannot take on that responsibility and I refuse to. I have done too much hard work on myself to now have to pick up someone else’s pieces. I know that no one else is perfect (and I’m not either) and I also know that the past leaves scars that will always be there. But there is a big difference in learning from your past hurts and moving on then living with them and dwelling in them. Call me picky but there are just things I’m not interested in wasting my time with. I’m well aware that you can’t change someone else and I don’t want someone I feel like I would have to. That means they aren’t your person and I want my person. And for the first time I feel like I’m really ready to see if I can find him.

So as I step into the dating world and try on different guys to see which one will fit me and my life, I’m staying a step behind and evaluating the people and situations as objectively as I can. Maybe the perfect guy for me won’t require that and it will be all over as soon as we meet but until then I’m going to keep going. All I know is my life is too amazing to settle from crap ever again.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you!! It's not easy and you may step into and out of dating as well. Sometimes it will reveal we have more we need to or want to work on before being involved with someone else.

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