This week marks the start of the half-marathon for me and like I said last week I’m uber excited. Right now with all the stuff going on in my life I feel like I need this large goal to keep me going on a path that I know I should be on anyways and that will lead me to an accomplishment that will leave me prouder then I can imagine I could be. I think doing it this time on my own I really will be pushing myself, motivating myself, and proving to myself that I can do this too. I think I have proved to myself that I can withstand a lot more then I ever gave myself credit for but sometimes I doubt I have the drive to do things by choice. I know I can do it when pushed but what about when I’m the one doing the pushing?
I like to find quotes that speak to me. I love poetry and if I can find someone else’s words that say just what I’m feeling, I love reading and rereading finding my own meaning in it. Last week I was having a particularly rough start to the week. I was looking for something to lift my spirits and kind of get me mentally prepared to start training. I found this one…“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” -Charles Darwin
I learned in the last year that I can adapt to change rather well. Going back to school at 28 was a challenge on its own, but once my life fell down around me and I had to deal with my school work, my divorce and then my dad’s accident I learned rather quickly that I do what I have to to get things done. I know that life goes on without you and you have a choice. You can let it drag you behind it or you can get up, walk beside it and keep going. Sometimes life sucks but you have to find the power and strength inside you to keep going. And sometimes that is all you can do, just keep going. Eventually, if you let yourself, you can even thrive in the new life you helped create around you. It’s been a terribly long journey and I have had days that I can’t be so sure about that but I know deep inside if I just keep going, it will get better. I also know that in my life there will be more times that will suck, that will challenge the strength I have, and make me want to crumble under the pressure. But I know as long as I just have to keep going, keep learning the lessons that are there to learn, deal with what I have to deal with, I will come out the other side. You just take it. Day by day, minute by minute, second by second. Whatever it takes, you just keep going. And I can’t help but use those lessons for the half-marathon. I know that some days it will suck. Some days I won’t want to run. Sometimes I won’t want to go that extra mile. Some days my legs will hurt, my knees may ache, my heart just not in it. Hell I ran the entire race last year with my heart not in it. But I’m so much stronger then any circumstance in my life. I will succeed because I will keep going.
I found this other quote “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” I choose to grow. I don’t see any other way of living. I want a happy, full life. I will not be a victim of my circumstance. I will grow and thrive and be the best version of myself I can be. Things in your life will always change. Sometimes good, sometimes bad and devastating but we always have the choice. Grow or stay stagnant and angry and blame everyone else around you. This short girl is deciding to grow tall and beautiful in spite of those changes life throws at me. How about you?
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