New Year, New Me

Total emotional upheaval is probably the phrase that best sums up the last three months. With the divorce, my dad’s accident, the holidays and school, I didn’t have much left in me. I was so emotionally exhausted and I guess that is to be expected with all that has gone on. So here I am a new year and trying to make my life what I want it to be. Happy and healthy and moving forward. At least now the chaos in my life is much more manageable and seems to be moving toward a good place. Slowly but surely…gotta take baby steps.

One of my big goals of the year is to make sure I process and deal with the emotional aftermath of the divorce. I don’t want to be a bitter betrayed girl the rest of my life. If I ever got into another relationship I don’t want to drag in a bunch of unresolved issues with me. I want to be able to go on with my life and have my past not define me. I will not let this be my undoing. I know now that my life will is better off now and I know that the path to being 100% ok will be a long one. But I know that I have the strength in me to make my life whatever I want it. I can keep myself in a miserable place or I can thrive in a beautiful environment that I create. I choose to be happy or sad. I chose to get stuck in this awful lonely place or I can reach out and be with people who love me. I may have lost some friends in this whole thing but the people who are still in my life are amazing and their support has meant so much to me.

I also want to take this opportunity to do the things I want to do. I have nothing holding me back so why not live the life I always dreamed of? I have spent enough time sulking and feeling sorry for myself and I am ready to make this amazing life that I will look back and be proud of all the things I’ve done. I want to live my life and be happy and do things. I don’t want to waste my life in front of the TV feeling sorry for myself. I think a lot of my life I have tried to live and waste but I have more freedom then ever before to do all the things I want and become the person I always dreamed of.

I think we all owe it to ourselves to not let our circumstances stand in our way. We can chose to let things destroy us or we can decide to come out on top. I don’t know about you but I know which option I’m taking.