My friend Sara that I just ran the 5k with, asked me after the race if I would want to run the Des Moines Half Marathon with her. My first reaction was to laugh, so I let out a little chuckle. She was serious and I hadn’t realized it when the question was first asked. My second reaction was to say are you nuts and I think by the look on my face she could tell what I was thinking. She went on to tell me how she thought we could do it and by the light in her eyes, I could tell she believed it.
I ended the conversation for the night and told her I would let her know the next time I would see her, on Friday, if I would do it. I figured it would give me a week to think it over, for real and make a solid decision. So here I am researching and figuring out what it would take to do it. And could I really do it.
So far everyone that I have told (a few co-workers and my husband) don’t think I can. Or at least that is the impression I am getting. This is what they have been saying…
‘Really? Why?
Why jump from a 5k to a half marathon?
Why not try a 10k first to see if you can do it?’
And not that I have to justify or prove anything to them, but now I kinda wanna show them I can. I asked my husband if he thought I couldn’t do it. From the look on his face and tone in his voice when I told him ‘I think I am going to do it’, I could tell there was something negative there. Maybe because he doesn’t really think I am a ‘runner’ or he just doesn’t understand why I would want to even try. He said he knows I could if I wanted to, but I still sense some hesitation from him. Does that matter though? Not really. The only one I need to convince is me.
Anyways, so here are some of my hesitations…
-That is a really long run. I have never run more then a 5k. I guess maybe I have at bootcamp (sometimes she runs our asses off) but I’m not really sure. And maybe I have on my runs because it usually takes me about an hour before I get home and I run most of that. So I really don’t know the longest I have ever run and running for two plus hours is daunting.
-I don’t know that I consider myself a runner. I never trained for my 5ks. I just went and did the best I could. I run at least once a week at bootcamp and sometimes an additional time for a little over an hour. I do enjoy it though and I am a runner if I say I am, right? I guess I assume running a half marathon means you are a hard core runner and that I am not, but you know what they say about assuming :)
-Am I healthy enough to do it? I have been having issues with my knees (but I think they are because of my shoes so hopefully that will be remedied very soon). And I am worried that some of my unhealthy habits will interfere with actually being able to do it. But is this what I need to stop and adjust those habits and be healthier over all?
-And of course the ugly negative self talk comes in. Deep down I doubt myself. I still have that nagging little voice in my head saying ‘I can’t do it…Am I crazy?’ I always try and shoot it down but sometimes the thought lingers. I know that the only one that can decide if I can or can’t do it is me. I don’t want to hold myself back and being scared is not a reason I will allow myself to use.
Do I just take the plunge and do it? What do I have to lose?
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