Next Monday officially starts my half marathon training. I’m pretty excited about it actually. To be back on a dedicated schedule working toward something so big, I think it will help take my mind off some of the other things that have been bothering me. Besides I can sort out some serious baggage on those long runs! It will be nice to see those miles add up toward something, to feel my body getting stronger and faster and better, to have all that time to myself. It just amazes me to have this huge goal in mind and know that I have the capability to achieve it, know that I have done it before. And this time all by myself; just me, my feet, and my forerunner leading the way. I feel lucky and fortunate to have set such a lofty goal and know I have the physical ability to do it. There are so many people out there that just live their stagnant lives and never dream to do something so much more then themselves. They are content with each day passing by, just to get to the next and never really living their lives. Not that you have to run a half marathon to live but you get what I’m saying. I feel so lucky to be a dreamer and know that I can and will do whatever it is my heart desires.
I feel like this is all another way to show myself how much I love myself. I’m showing myself that I can do anything I want. All I have to do is want it and work hard for it. I’m doing this one not because my friend wants me to run it with her (although I love you Sara for getting me in it last time and sparking a love affair that will out last any others) but because I love myself enough to show it in such a tangible way. Because I can take care of myself and dedicate myself to this. Because I want to see if I’m the only one pushing me, just how far I can go. Because I’m worth the hard work and dedication. If I didn’t want more for my life and better for myself, I wouldn’t push myself to go farther. This time I’m doing it because the last one was such an emotional blur that I want to really feel this one. The pride, the pain, the sweat, the joy…all of it. I want to run that race because I’m proud, happy and thriving. Not because my broken heart just won’t give up. It was a beautiful testament to myself then and I’m glad I fought through and finished. But this time will be different because I am such a different person.
I learned so much about myself training for this last year and I have no doubts I will learn so much more. It’s going to be long and hard and awesome all at the same time. And I’m so ready to start!
