Worry, worry, worry

I’ve been thinking lately about how high strung I am. I worry about everything and while I know I could be worse, I could be a lot better about it. I’ve really tried to be more laid back but it’s hard to change the core of who you are. I mean I didn’t used to be so high strung but I’ve always been cautious and responsible and the voice of reason. I mean I’ve done things I shouldn’t in my life but I’m usually a responsible person. Not that that is all bad but worrying and over thinking for the sake of worrying and over thinking is craziness and I’m going to give myself an ulcer. It helps that the boyfriend is laid back and can remind me when I start on my tailspin. We were going to visit my brother this Saturday and he invited us to go out with him and his girlfriend which is great but I had made other plans. Trying to be everything to everyone (which is another of my flaws) I start trying to figure it all out, getting frustrated because I don’t have all the information (like where, when, what exactly he had in mind) and my mind starts to spin. I try and voice my tail spin but it only comes out in short, cut off sentences. “But what are we suppose…” I trail off “What am I supposed to tell…” “Why doesn’t he…” My mind is racing. The BF then says “I don’t see why you are getting all upset about this”. I’ve heard this before. From my best friend (who is by all accounts my therapist) and I stop what I’m saying. It’s still going on in my mind but obviously verbalizing it is only making him uncomfortable and why do that. I continue to drive, I hear the thoughts in my head, I try to breath and focus and I drive. After a while he notices my silence (probably because of my crazy non-sentences that had been rattled off before) and grabs my hand. “What’s wrong” he asks. “Nothing”. “What’s wrong, tell me” “Nothing, I love you” "I love you too, what is wrong?" He looks at me and I remember what is really important and that this unnecessary worry will sort itself out. I hear how silly I am being and how I don't even want to explain how the crazy train (my brain) is going. He has a way with me like that though. He calms me, centers me, makes me see what is important and what isn’t. He’s great like that. So I have been thinking a lot about that. How wound up I get, how silly it is to waste my energy that way, and how I can stop. I know it is going to be difficult but I know I can do whatever I put my mind to. Plus I have this wonderful reminder constantly telling me to calm down and breath. He is a beautiful reminder. So any suggestions on how to stop a tailspin? Go to my happy place and think of puppies and kittens? I need help because I’ve felt so crazy overwhelmed with all the things going on in my life and over thinking them to death. I’m finishing my internship in the next month and a half, I’m looking for jobs, I have a sick kitty, I’m trying to spread my time with people that matter most and I feel pulled in a million directions (welcome to the real world, right?). So any suggestions would be great. Maybe I should take up meditation or try to get back into yoga (as my wrist allows). Or maybe take up Tae Bo again and get some of that energy out that way. This is my life and I don’t want to worry it away...